Sunday, August 8, 2010

Fortune Cookie Philosophy

Philosophy that can fit on the space of a fortune cookie wrapper:

Communism is the glorification of the herd mentality.

Socialism justifies avoiding personal responsibility.

Existentialism is the codification of hatred for human existence.

Pragmatism - for those who never want to have to say I'm sorry.

Marxism is for those who desire to live like sheep.

Leninism is for those who want to be the sheepherders.

Maoism is for those who think we should all live like peasants.

Stalinism is for those who think we should turn the world into a bloody sweatshop.

Utilitarianism is for those who want to sacrifice the happiness of individuals to the happiness of an abstract idea.

Environmentalism is for those who think it would be grand if we camped year round.

Feminism is for those who think masculinity is a crime against humanity.

Racism is the idea that skin pigmentation is a relevant way to judge someone's worth.

Conservatism means traditions have value in and of themselves.

Individualism is the crazy idea that people should live their own lives.

Constitutionalism means that there are some things the politicians aren't allowed to do.

Capitalism is the idea that you should earn your keep, and keep what you earn.

Libertarianism is for those who think everyone should mind their own business.

1 comment:

Free Speech Czar said...

This is crazy. I just started reading Rose Wilder Lane's phenomenal "The Discovery of Freedom and I encountered this line" (5):

"The nearest human approach to the bee-swarm is communism."

Talk about being on the same wavelength as an author at the right time! My thinking, guided by Rand and Mises, is guiding me to pierce the philosophical rationalizations for brute force and control of others and Lane's work makes a perfect complement to situate in that mix. Thanks for the recommendation, ReaganX.