Yanquis! We invite you to come to sunny Cuba, where the sun of the socialist revolution shines eternally in the heart of our great leader Fidel Alejandro Castro!
In Cuba, everyone has access to the finest cigars, and world-class healthcare. We even have an open invitation to all American celebrities to come witness or even make use of our free clinics for themselves (in exchange for a donation to our glorious people's democracy, of course). All such clinics are conveniently located within five miles of the military base/airport in Havana. And if you don't believe your celebrities, just ask one of the thousands of ambassadors who come to America each year to spread the good word about our communist paradise.
There is always an abundance of food and drink in our wonderful island nation. Our harvests are plentiful, and our workers always grateful for the days they spend enjoying nature. We freely give out our overflowing crops, and are happy to take all such gifts in return. That is why we support the policy being considered by the current enlightened administration to open a gateway between Cuba and America, to allow us to move beyond the dark past, and to assist Cuba with sustaining the gains of our worker's paradise.
We are truly free and equal in our shining dictatorship of the proletarian, and yet we are humble enough to accept the prestige of currently co-presiding over the U.N. Human Rights Commission. That is how great and gracious we are.
Pay no attention to the myths emanating from that poisoned pit of deception, America. There is no child prostitution, human trafficking, or sex tourism here. Not even for ten dollars American, courtesy massage, and complimentary foot rub. No! We do not tolerate such disgrace here! Please come and see for yourself!