How Altruistic Cults Become Inhumane, Self-Loathing, Self-Destructive Mass Suicide Movements

Call it the next logical step in the unfolding of the big lie of manmade global warming. As if mountains of evidence had not already cleared away the smoke of neomarxist propaganda to heap anthropogenic climate change on the ash-heap of history, along comes Mount Enywayuwannalookatit to signal to us what we've known all along: Radical environmentalism is nothing but an inhumane, self-loathing, self-destructive cult hell-bent on the destruction of all mankind. Oh, and Happy Earth Day.

Iceland, of all places (hey, how'd all that ice get on that thar terra firma?), just witnessed a real mother of a catastrophic volcanic eruption, and the first reaction by green groups is to throw an herbal tea party. You read me right. The earth goddess Gaia has heard the hippie internationale's supplications and after an all-out PMS-driven binge on Taco Hell with an extra helpin' of Fire Sauce belched millions of tons of sulfur dioxide, carbon dioxide, and methane gas into the atmosphere just to provide us lowly hominids a little parasol to cower under. Awww. And just in time to save us from one of the least scorching-hot winters on record. Thank you, mommy!

So while Greenpeace volunteers are doing their otter claps over such innocuous fun facts as the comparison of volcanic CO2 emissions and non-existent grounded jet emissions, ninety percent are apparently unaware that CO2 is one of the weakest greenhouse gases in the atmosphere and incidentally, in gargantuan volcanic ash-clouds. Can't be obstinately strident and informed at the same time, can we?

Yet we are only scratching the surface here at how low, or perhaps how high, the green left can go. We are trajecting upwards toward the per-optimum heights of idiocy, gently sweeping into a parabolic curve towards lunacy, and onwards to the crescendo of ritual suicide, all of us crammed into a hemp-and-clove emitting Ford Focus hurtling at a brisk 40 mph over a cliff with bumper-sticker bon mots like "Love Me - Love the Earth" slapped onto our collective ass-ends. We should be hitting rock bottom any day now.

The important point not to miss is that thousands of hippies and their love children actually grateful for man-made disasters that harm or kill thousands of people, since they somehow expunge us of our original sin of actually being born alive, is a logical, necessary extension of altruistic movements. Ayn Rand so brilliantly pointed out long ago that the drive for self-sacrifice can never be fulfilled - until we're all dead.

Until that time, we can only ponder the last thought that goes through an enviro-nutter's mind before he is encapsulated in a petrified molten magma slab like Han Solo's carbonite chamber in Empire: Is it: "It's not easy being green" or "If only I would have hung more earth-beads on my rear-view" or maybe "Mommy?!?"

Someone get on the horn to the Goracle and tell him we should move Earth Day from Lenin's b-day to the anniversary of the Jonestown massacre. And someone pass me a Kickin' Kiwi-Lime.