Democracy it the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
Democracy defines the truth as any thing believed by at least 51 men in every 100, It is thus firmly committed to the doctrines that one bath a week is enough, that "I seen" is the past tense of "I see", and that Friday is an unlucky day.
Three proofs that the Creator is a humorist: democracy, hay fever, any fat woman.
The agents of argumentation under a free democracy, in the order of their potency: whiskey, beer, cigars, tears.
Democracy is the theory that two thieves will steal less than one, and three less than two, and four less than three, and so on ad infinitum.
At the bottom of Puritanism one finds envy of the fellow who is having a better time in the world, and hence hatred of him. At the bottom of democracy one finds the same thing. This is why all Puritans are democrats and all democrats are Puritans.
(A Little Book in C Major by H.L. Mencken, fully available online for free)